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A man is having problems with his penis which certainly had seen
better times. He consults a doctor who runs a number of tests.
"I'm sorry to tell you this," says the doctor, "but you've
overdone it the last 30 years. It seems you've burned it out.
You only have 30 erections left in your penis."
The man walks home, shocked and deeply depressed. His wife is
waiting for him at the front door and asks him what the doctor
said concerning his problem.
He tells her what the doc said.
"Oh no," she says, "only 30 times! We shouldn't waste them, we
should make a list!"
He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry,
but your name isn't on it."
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A very proper man started going into the neighborhood drug store
every week and buying 2 dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week,
he would come in with the same order. One day, the druggist felt
he had to say something to the man.
"Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about getting
lucky! How on earth do you use that many condoms a week?"
The man looked at him in disgust and said, "I beg your pardon,
but I find the whole idea of sex repulsive!"
So, the druggist asked, "Then what do you do with all those
condoms?"
The gentleman answered, "I feed them to my poodle and now she
poops in little plastic bags."
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